Dergie's Kennel

Welcome to my kennel! ???????? HOLD ON... WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! Are you telling me that a gang of golden retrievers in matching Hawaiian shirts just took over a beach resort and are now running an all-you-can-eat bacon buffet for both dogs and humans?! And wait did you seriously just say a squad of chihuahuas in tiny leather jackets are now patrolling the streets on miniature motorcycles, barking at pigeons like some kind of adorable canine mafia?! Oh, and I’m sorry, BUT DID I JUST HEAR THAT A GREAT DANE WEARING A TOP HAT AND MONOCLE WAS JUST ELECTED MAYOR OF A SMALL TOWN CALLED ‘Barksville’ AND HIS FIRST ACT IN OFFICE WAS TO DECLARE FREE TENNIS BALLS FOR EVERYONE?! AND HOLD UP---because apparently there’s now a Shiba Inu DJ headlining Coachella, spinning tracks exclusively made from the sound of squeaky toys?! Meanwhile, there’s a news anchor live on TV desperately trying to explain how a corgi in a cape just BASE-jumped off a skyscraper and landed safely in a kiddie pool while the crowd chanted ‘WHO’S A GOOD BOY?!’ And somehow—SOMEHOW—while all this was happening, my Furry-Paws account EXPLODED with notifications because apparently, I just bred the most OP digital pup in the game’s history and people are bidding enough virtual bones to build a mansion out of doghouses! At this point, I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or start training for my inevitable role as Queen of the Dog Uprising! I CAN’T—IS THIS REAL LIFE OR DID I JUST ACCIDENTALLY FALL INTO THE GREATEST FEVER DREAM EVER?!????????????????????????????

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